Housewives Don’t Exist (2017)

Directed by: Aniëlle Webster | 103 minutes | comedy | Actors: Eva van de Wijdeven, Jelka van Houten, Kay Greidanus, Jim Bakkum, Leo Alkemade, Loes Luca, Waldemar Torenstra, Fred van Leer, Richard Kemper

Exploding laundry baskets, changing beds, children’s treats and sick husbands; just a few subjects discussed in ‘De Huisvrouwmonologen’, the 2013 novel by columnist Sylvia Witteman. For many women with a family and a job, it is a feast of recognition. Not long after the book was published, Rick Engelkes (Doctor Simon from ‘Good times, bad times’) adapted the story into the eponymous – and very successful – theater performance. And now there is a film, ‘Housewives don’t exist’ (2017), also produced by Engelkes, based on a screenplay by comedian Richard Kemper (the one by Veldhuis & Kemper). Curiously enough, Witteman’s name is nowhere mentioned on the poster, while it is really the housewives she has created who are central. And let the characters be the funniest aspect in this comedy directed by Aniëlle Webster (‘Mees Kees along the line’, 2016).

Loes (Loes Luca) has always led a riotous life; men came and went, she liked to let money flow and she left the care of her daughters mainly to her mother. Now that she’s over sixty, she still lives that way. But the bottom of the well is quickly coming into view: the house in which she lives is under water and the bailiffs are at the door. Not that Loes is going to worry right away. Her now grown daughters Marjolein (Jelka van Houten) and Gijsje (Eva van de Wijdeven) do that for her. However, they have their own problems. The chaotic Marjolein is married to Huib (Leo Alkemade) and mother of three growing children. She also works as a journalist for a regional newspaper. Or well, worked. Because the film has barely started when Marjolein is fired. She has no choice but to temporarily focus entirely on the role of a housewife and now go to the activities of her children at school. But the life of a housewife is not so easy. Gijsje has her life in perfect order: she has a dear boyfriend (Kay Greidanus) and a good job at an advertising agency, where she has a chance to become a partner if she comes up with the right campaign for a cleaning brand. In addition, partly thanks to her fear of contamination, she always has her house in perfect order: the beds are always made clean and the crumbs are swept up after every bite of food. However, she desperately longs for a baby and that is taking over her life more and more.

The worries of these three women, and their mutual bond, are the common thread in ‘Housewives don’t exist’, a film that does not necessarily excel in originality, but in recognisability. As a viewer, we can look into the lives of Loes, Gijsje and Marjolein and we ended up in situations that are sometimes embarrassing, sometimes hilarious and sometimes painful and confrontational. The humor is mainly due to Jelka van Houten, who seems to have a patent on the role of the average housewife, averse to any form of glamour, but therefore oh so approachable and recognizable for the target group. Don’t we all fear the blunders she makes in the schoolyard, where she previously rarely showed herself because of her job, but where she now has to cope with the perfect model mothers (here portrayed by Victoria Koblenko) and charming fathers (Waldemar Torenstra). As Gijsje, Van de Wijdeven represents a different, very recognizable group of women. In order to fulfill her wish to have children, she works purposefully (but with a towel on the freshly changed sheets). Which by the way leads to the most hilarious scene in the entire film, when she has to look for a jar for her boyfriend’s cum in a rather awkward situation. The film hints that Gijsje’s extremely controlled behavior is a result of her frivolous upbringing, and that there is therefore some resentment towards her mother, but that deeper layer does not really shine through.

‘Housewives don’t exist’ works best as an anthology of what the modern woman experiences in the field of relationships, children, work and family. Of course, here and there a little heavier for the film – Jim Bakkum, as Gijsje’s colleague, takes off his shirt more than once to promote a new cleaning product – but there will be very few women who cannot identify with Loes, Marjolein or Gijsje. The moral of the story is that all those other women do whatever they want, and you just have to laugh at the chaos that our lives usually are. ‘Housewives don’t exist’ has a great asset in the three protagonists, who without any problems alternate the hilarity with sincere emotions and all three convince in their roles. Sure, sometimes it’s over the top, but they get away with it easily. The film may have few surprises in store, but it is certainly entertaining.