Here I Am (2017)

Directed by: Sander Snoep, Sarah Vos | 85 minutes | documentary

It was a bit of a shock when reading the official synopsis. According to that writing, the Dutch documentary ‘Hier ben ik’ is about residents of Bloemendaal who do not like the hectic modern life and who suffer from severe stress. These tormented Bloemendalers get help from Ad van Nieuwpoort, a pastor who uses Bible texts to make his flock receptive to the beauty of life again.

Really true? Bloemendaal? Village of lounging, beach, villas and nouveaux riches? rush?? stress???

In practice, this synopsis turns out to be incorrect. The stress experienced by the Bloemendalers has less to do with the hectic pace of life than with the lack of it. The majority of those portrayed find themselves in calm social waters, and it is in that calm that old suffering and hidden traumas arise. Timeless problems, about fathers with loose hands and divorces that have never been dealt with.

In ‘Here I am’ we go along with Rev. Ad, when he offers a listening ear to his fellow villagers. We are also present at a local reading society and at a dining club, where emotions and stories are shared. In addition, we spend an evening with the Rotary Club, which spoils us with pragmatic advice (if a bum asks for money, give him your smile. Not tax-deductible, but so cheap).

The conversations with the Bloemendalers are gripping enough. Those scenes look more authentic than some that seem heavily scripted: people talking in full sentences, including commas and periods, people looking exactly where it’s best cinematically. Although Reverend Ad does not come across as very charismatic, he sometimes comes up with a sharp observation. So you slowly understand that this is not a film about religion, but about the comfort of the community, whichever community it is.

Unfortunately, the film lacks focus. Occasionally, the makers try to live up to their synopsis, as in the opening scene, in which a female jogger talks very forcefully about her busy schedule. Sometimes you also think that the film wants to tell something – for example about fathers and sons, based on the Bible story about Isaac – which is not elaborated on.

It makes ‘Here I am’ a difficult film to judge. The documentary never bores, the images are beautiful and atmospheric, as is the music. At the same time, you have the idea that the makers have thought too much in terms of separate concepts and thus never arrive at a coherent whole. What we ultimately got from this film is not a deep insight, but a slight concern about the Bloemendaal psyche.