Everything is as it should be (2020)

Directed by: Ruud Schuurman | 108 minutes | comedy, drama | Actors: Barbara Sloesen, Jan Kooijman, Sanne Langelaar, Jelle de Jong, Renée de Jong, Julia Akkermans, Tom van Landuyt, Bram van der Heijden, Patrick Stoof, Allard Geerlings, Holly Mae Brood, Victoria Koblenko, Meral Polat, Emma Deckers, Anne van der Burg, Kharim Amir

Daphne Deckers once had ambitions to become a big movie star in Hollywood. But beyond a role in a miniseries on NBC and a marginal contribution (don’t blink or you’ll miss her) in the James Bond film ‘Tomorrow Never Dies’ (1997), the former top model did not come. In her own country she appeared as Claire, the love interest of dreamer Hero (Antonie Kamerling) in the successful tragicomedy ‘All Stars’ (1997). Deckers also did some performance jobs (Holland’s Next Top Model and RTL Boulevard), but it turned out that her writing talent gave her a second career. In addition to hundreds of columns, a series of highly successful autobiographical books about pregnancy, motherhood and parenting and a few books for children, she has also been writing novels since 2013. Deckers got the inspiration for that debut novel, ‘Everything Is As It Should Be’, when she signed books at a baby fair and a new mother bluntly informed her that ‘the father of her baby was already lubricated while the placenta was still warm’ . “I was stunned and thought: what if the father doesn’t feel like having children at all, cheats during pregnancy or falls in love with someone else after birth. So that the entire carpet is being pulled away from under your feet turned out to happen more often than I suspected. Then I thought: there is a book in this.”

That book was a smashing success and a film adaptation is usually not long in coming. ‘Everything is as it should be’ (2020) was delayed due to the corona crisis and was now released in the middle of summer instead of around the holidays. The makers have long been happy that the shooting could be completed in December, and that the film could be put into circulation. The makers take it for granted that the snow that adorns the streets at the beginning and end of ‘AIZHZMZ’ has a somewhat alienating effect.

Iris van den Berg (Barbara Sloesen) has it all done well: she has a nice and well-paid job as a TV producer, lives in an immense villa in Amsterdam South and, with her great love – surgeon Pieter (Jelle de Jong) – her first child. But when the little one finally shows up on Christmas Eve, that perfect picture suddenly appears to collapse like a house of cards. Iris has barely given birth when Pieter casually announces that he wonders whether their son is his, after which Iris – who, incidentally, has been a bit careless with the pill without her boyfriend’s knowledge and has not told him honestly about it – bites him back that he should have asked herself that nine months earlier. Then it turns out that Pieter was secretly rolling around with his colleague Suus all this time and now wants to go to Malawi with her to work with pathetic children. ‘What about your own child?’ wonders the equally furious and bewildered Iris. Not much later Pieter closes the door behind him and new mother Iris is alone with little Milan.

As if having a child in itself wasn’t intense enough, Iris now has to figure out on her own ‘how such a baby works’, what it means to be a mother. Her own mother (Renee Fokker) is of no use to her, she flees just like Pieter as soon as she sees the opportunity. Her friends (Sanne Langelaar and Julia Akkermans) have their own problems in the relationship, although they are there when they drink something. Because Iris prefers to numb her heartache, insecurity, anger and sadness with liters of alcohol. Not so responsible if you have a newborn baby. Numerous potential new loves are reviewed: Pieter’s good friend, doctor Peter Paul (Bram van der Heijden) who turns out to have his heart in the right place, or the Flemish TV chef (Tom van Landuyt) who she knows her work and respects her. Or that attractive Douwe (Jan Kooijman) from the dog walking service, whom she runs into more and more often. And what lies behind her mother’s evasive behavior?

The theme of brand new motherhood and all the uncertainties and doubts that accompany it are very recognizable for anyone who has ever been able to give birth to a child. The breast milk stains, maternity tears, awkwardness, the search for a little time for yourself; we’ve all been there. Deckers knows better than anyone how to describe the trial and error surrounding the birth of a mother (also the title of one of her bestsellers). In ‘AIZHZMZ’ Iris has a hard time, especially in the relationship area, but she doesn’t make it easy for herself. Desperately she tries to accept that her relationship is over, but for a long time she still sees Pieter as the perfect man. Despite all those flip-flops, then self-centered behavior (she’s no better by the way) and his aggrieved attitude. Anyone expecting a cozy romkom à la ‘Everything is love’ (2007) might be shocked by the brutal exchange of words between Iris and Pieter in the first minutes, because it is not tender. Prepare for explicit (sexual) innuendo and lots of swearing. Maybe it’s meant as black humor, but nine times out of ten it doesn’t turn out that way.

It’s not easy to really empathize with so many characters who come across as cold, harsh and unsympathetic. Pieter is a blunt bastard, Iris a wreck wallowing in self-pity, but many other figures also do not deserve our approval. Against all that egocentrism, Douwe stands as a kind of saint, kind to dogs, fun with children, wildly attractive and also single. That is just a little too good to be true. The explanation we eventually get from Iris’ mother about her own past is very clumsy and the aftermath seems to be dragged in by the hair as an excuse for a sweet trip to Spain. With more charming characters and a slightly more subtle idiom (and an easier to remember title!) ‘AIZHZMZ’ could have been an appealing film about the new motherhood and resilience of a hurt woman. A rough joke from time to time should be fine and of course it is infectious when Iris takes revenge by having Pieter’s carefully compiled and displayed Star Wars collection smashed to pieces (one of the nicest scenes), but otherwise this romkom gets stuck in superficiality and a lack of sympathy.