Together (2019)

Directed by: Carmen Cobos | 78 minutes | documentary

Parkinson’s disease is the fastest growing neurological disorder in recent years. This is not necessarily because more people get it but in large part because it is diagnosed more quickly. Despite these faster diagnoses, the disease remains incurable. People with Parkinson’s experience a wide variety of complaints, of which tremors are the best known. But what does the fact that you can physically and psychologically deteriorate with the patient and his or her partner? Filmmaker Carmen Cobos asks herself this question in the documentary ‘Samen’ when her husband Kees Rijninks has been diagnosed with Parkinson’s.

She puts that question to experts by experience: people in different stages of the disease and their partners, if present. And the answers are extensive, diverse, abstract and, above all, not always conclusive. The wry thing about Parkinson’s is that no one knows how it will turn out and you therefore do not know what to prepare for. There is not really an answer that will solve everything and that is also made very clear in ‘Together’. It is mainly a quest for acceptance, for both Kees and Carmen. And they both handle it differently.

Carmen wants to arrange everything down to the last detail and Kees wants to keep the disease out until there is really no other option. Both approaches are recognizable in such a situation.
And that recognizability of situations is the film’s strength in any case. The exercises with the neurologist, the struggle with changing physique, the impotence of all involved and especially the love between patient and partner and the accompanying grief. Nowhere in ‘Samen’ is this more clearly and more beautifully depicted than with Edith and Cor. Edith has had Parkinson’s for a long time and can do less and less. Cor is her caregiver and above all her loving selfless husband. They struggle with the fact that the care of Edith at a certain point will become too much for Cor and Edith to move to a nursing home. The whole process becomes clear by letting Cor do a lot of the talking and by following the two through the various stages of the process. The fact that no concrete solution is ready here is typical of the situation and also the theme of the film.

Cobos wants to answer, but seems to realize during the story that they are not ready-made and sometimes lead to more dissatisfaction. ‘Together’ makes that more than clear in all situations and knows it without portraying excessive sentimentality. It is what it is, although you often don’t know exactly what it is and what it will be. This leads to a film that is honest, honest and recognizable and that actually “screams” for a sequel. How are those involved in roughly three years and what have they learned and what would they advise others now? And if that’s not enough reasons, then just to know how it is with Cor, the man you want to give a hug through the screen.