The Wicker Man (2006)

Directed by: Neil LaBute | 106 minutes | drama, horror, thriller | Actors: Nicolas Cage, Ellen Burstyn, Molly Parker, Leelee Sobieski, Kate Beahan, Paul Backer, Christa Campbell, Frances Conroy, Diane Delano, Erika-Shaye Gair, Sophie Hough, George Murphy, Robert Musnicki, Tania Saulnier, Michael Wiseman

The American production ‘The Wicker Man’ is a remake of the British cult classic of the same name from 1973. The latter film was almost a genre in itself, a bizarre combination of occult thriller, musical, horror film and erotic folk drama. Although completely unusual, this combination worked wonderfully. The alienating atmosphere, the rituals, the pagan eroticism and the horrifying ending provided an unforgettable viewing experience. Unfortunately, the new Wicker Man lacks everything that made the original so enjoyable: the bizarre rituals, the songs, the eroticism and above all the menacing undertones, all the more menacing where the islanders always keep something innocent and childlike.

In the new version it is much easier to identify those residents of Summersisle. A number of new elements (car accident, bee attack, reviving romance) clash strongly with the tone of the original. All that makes this remake rather painful for those who have taken the old version to their hearts.

For those unfamiliar with the original, this new version has become a standard Hollywood thriller. There are some scary moments, the story is neatly rounded, the acting is reasonable and at the end there is even a real surprise. But before we get to that end, we get way too many clichés to swallow. Both storyline and scares are largely predictable, with the story also containing the necessary nonsense on closer examination. Moreover, it is difficult to identify with a mentally unstable police officer who, armed with a self-help book and tranquilizers, regularly knocks his female opponents to the ground. Also, the confrontations between the modern man and the remaining islanders sometimes have unintentional comic effects, especially when the cop starts brandishing his gun.

All in all, it was not a smart idea to give this classic a modern look. A film that has uniqueness and originality as its main qualities cannot by definition be surpassed or even matched by a remake. All this new version of “The Wicker Man” proves is Hollywood’s ability to transform anything original and unique into a tasteless one-of-a-kind sausage. High time to send some Hollywood boobs to Summersisle.