Point Out – Schluss Aus – Full Stop (2020)

Directed by: Rosemarie Blank | 80 minutes | documentary

Michael Hellgardt (1934-2018) was the life partner of Rosemarie Blank (1939). That they are only five years apart in age is a surprise: Michael looks decades older than his partner due to physical ailments, who also occasionally appears in her own documentary. Life has not been merciful to the architect. Michael wants to die. Rather today than tomorrow. ‘Point Out – Schluss Aus – Full Stop’ was made at the request of Michael, whose intention was to document his last steps on Earth.

Pretty soon in the documentary, however, you notice Michael’s doubts. Despite the constant torment of tinnitus and dependence on others, life still has beautiful moments to offer. For example, Michael enjoys music, looks forward to an Indonesian meal (“That may be expensive”) and most of all the prospect of returning to his beloved Palazzone, a small village in Tuscany, Italy. He continues to whine about it like a small child and if he doesn’t get his way, he threatens to stop eating.

Michael also has humor: when the doctor says that such a trip to Italy is not without its dangers, after they have discussed Michael’s choice for euthanasia countless times, he points out the ridiculousness of that comment. “Why, dangerous? Didn’t I want to die already?!” But just as often ‘Punt uit – Schluss Aus – Full Stop’ is poignant and difficult to watch. Rosemarie Blank always had a tripod with a camera ready so that she could film Michael immediately if he was once again naked and vulnerable on the floor and had to be helped up. This documentary repeatedly shows how hard the lives of informal carers are; the patients hardly express their gratitude anyway and everything revolves around the other.

Just like in ‘Wei’ (2019) by Ruud Lenssen, the need to move to a care home is something that drives a wedge between the couple. Michael flatly refuses, but his “Rosie” sees no other way out. Occasionally Rosemarie Blank shows what the vital version of Michael was like with old photos or film footage; a world of difference with the frail pile of people in the last days of his life. A reminder of how precious life is, how fragile we all are and a beautiful picture of how someone copes with a death wish, understandably hesitant until the last moments. The choice why this is missing can be defended, but every now and then the viewer gets the feeling that they would like to have a conversation with the filmmaker.