Made for each other (2017)

Directed by: Martijn Heijne | 93 minutes | comedy, romance | Actors: Matthijs van de Sande Bakhuyzen, Loes Haverkort, Fabian Jansen, Roeland Fernhout, Eva van de Wijdeven, Sanne Vogel, Nick Vorsselman, Don Alphonso, Nick Golterman, Merel Heinis

In Germany they could laugh uncontrollably about it, the comedy ‘Vaterfreuden’ from 2014. The immensely popular Matthias Schweighöfer in his homeland – a man of many talents, because he not only directed the film, but also produced it and also played the lead role – wrapped the audience around his finger with ease. German film audiences flocked to the cinema for their hero – did we mention he’s also a singer and voice actor? – let a ferret bite its genitals. For example, ‘Vaterfreuden’ – which means something like ‘having fun with fatherhood’ – brought in a sloppy eighteen million euros. Filmmaker Martijn Heijne, whose feature film debut ‘Sneekweek’ (2016) gave the polder horror subgenre a small boost, did see some potential in a Dutch version of ‘Vaterfreuden’ and set to work with the concept. The result is ‘Voor each other made’ (2017), a bland romantic comedy whose course you can predict in advance and which will do little good for the already battered reputation of the Dutch romkom.

Compared to the German original, little has changed in the scenario. Felix (Matthijs van de Sande Bakhuyzen) is in his late twenties who has no work, does not study and spends his days with parties and women. His brother Jelle (Fabian Jansen), who doesn’t have a complete list of them as it is called, is forced to live with him for a while, and he takes his honey-mad ferret Johnny with him. Because the two have no money to make, Jelle proposes to donate their sperm for a lot of money at a fertility clinic run by Beau van Erven Dorens. That same evening Felix ends up in bed with his stunning but married ‘friend with benefits’ (Birgit Schuurman), who wants to perform an experiment with him. She ties him to the bed, squeezes the coincidentally available pouring honey over his naked body and then happily sits down on the phone with home. And that while ferret Johnny is not comfortable in his cage, but roams freely through the house. You probably already know where this is going…

In the hospital Johnny appears to have nibbled through the vas deferens, with the result that Felix’s ‘business’ still works, but he can no longer have children. He had never thought of ever wanting to, until now. Especially when he is confronted at his niece’s birthday party with all those small children, caring fathers and couples who want to keep an eye on their ovulation. Jelle sees his brother’s frustration and decides to break into the sperm bank to find out where Felix’s sperm has gone. He concludes that none other than the ambitious TV personality Jip Hagen (Loes Haverkort) – presenter of an ‘Over de roooie’-like format – should be the one carrying Felix’s child. Since it’s his only chance at a child, he tries to make contact with Jip, and although she doesn’t want to know anything about him at first, she quickly thaws. Especially when Felix throws his wisecracking eight-year-old niece Mila into the fray. Although he also needs the necessary lies (for good) to be able to approach her.

With Matthijs van de Sande Bakhuyzen, ‘For each other’ has a sympathetic protagonist and this film absolutely needs that, because this predictable little thing falls short in almost all other areas. To get straight to the point: ‘Made for each other’ is not funny and Van de Sande Bakhuyzen and co-star Loes Haverkort have no chemistry with each other. And let those just be two essential aspects of a romkom. Let’s face it: jokes about gnawed vas deferens, impending ovulation and childbirth from hell are almost always bland and cliché. In Germany they may laugh about that, but in the Netherlands we have a different kind of humor. Characters like Jelle, but also Felix’s neurotic sister-in-law Monica (Sanne Vogel), Jips’s jellyfish friend Ralph (Roeland Fernhout) and her bossy agent and best friend Petra (Eva van de Wijdeven) are too caricatured to appeal to the public and his friends are too colorless. We also often saw better Van de Sande Bakhuyzen, but in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. We can see that it could have been more in the sparse scenes that Felix has with eight-year-old Mila, whose big mouth is mainly a way to disguise her fears. In his efforts to win over Jip, Felix helps his niece overcome those fears.

Maybe German humor isn’t ours, maybe ‘Made for each other’ was put together too quickly and not carefully enough. But with a romantic comedy that doesn’t get you more than a few chuckles and that doesn’t make you believe in the budding love between the two main characters, you don’t take a very good turn. And that while there is quite a bit of talent involved in this film, both in front of and behind the scenes. Even for people who go to watch this movie with low expectations, ‘Made for each other’ is a disappointment.