Blumhouse’s Fantasy Island – Fantasy Island (2020)

Directed by: Jeff Wadlow | 109 minutes | adventure, fantasy | Actors: Michael Peña, Maggie Q, Lucy Hale, Austin Stowell, Jimmy O. Yang, Portia Doubleday, Ryan Hansen, Michael Rooker, Parisa Fitz-Henley, Mike Vogel, Kim Coates, Robbie Jones, Jeriya Benn, Charlotte McKinney, Josh McConville Tane Williams-Accra, Edmund Lembke-Hogan, Ian Roberts, Evan Evagora, Goran D. Kleut, Joshua Diaz, Josh Randall, Andrew Lees, Nick Slater

‘Fantasy Island’ is promoted rather prominently as a Blumhouse production. This film company presents itself as the ‘protector’ of horror films. The majority of all horror films that appear in cinemas come from this company’s stable. The strength of Blumhouse is that filmmakers are given all the freedom to shoot a genre film with a small budget. Sometimes that results in something genius like ‘Get Out’ (and ‘Us’) by Jordan Peele. Unfortunately it can also be very sad what you get to see, with ‘thanks’ to bad products like ‘Truth Or Dare’. Unfortunately, ‘Fantasy Island’ also belongs to the latter category…

In ‘Fantasy Island’ – based on the cult series of the same name from the 1970s and 1980s – you meet five people who go on a dream vacation to a special island. This is where fantasies come true. These desires range from reclaiming old loves to orgies full of sex and booze and taking revenge on old bullies. Island owner Roarke (a terribly miscast Michael Peña), however, is hiding a secret. Living out your deepest and darkest desires is not without consequences, but he didn’t say that.

Director Jeff Wadlow has managed to can a terrible vanilla custard movie. You don’t get your horror movies more boring and meaningless than this. So don’t expect much from the ‘Uncut Edition’, which quite blatantly promises to “show fragments that were not shown in the cinema version”. ‘Fantasy Island’ is a failed movie. The acting is flat, the fantasies shown are very tame and the tension is almost nil. Why empathize with two horny thirtysomethings acting like Beavis and Butthead? Also the portrayal of a bully and her victim are shockingly insignificant. The way mental problems are treated is also of an outrageously lazy level (bullying victim suddenly turns into a foaming psychopath who cannot function without a straitjacket).

Wadlow wants to combine ‘Saw’ with crazy humor, drama and sci-fi. This genre cocktail fails on every level. What remains is cinematic wallpaper. Beautiful people, hip music and a touch of horror alternate. Nothing sticks, but it’s portrayed so anonymously that it never really irritates.