All About Steve (2009)

Directed by: Phil Trailer | 99 minutes | comedy | Actors: Sandra Bullock, Thomas Haden Church, Bradley Cooper, Ken Jeong, DJ Qualls, Keith David, Howard Hesseman, Beth Grant, Katy Mixon, MC Gainey, Holmes Osborne, Delaney Hamilton, Jason Jones, George Sharperson, Luenell, Christina Carlisi, Joe D’Angerio, Shanda Laurent, Kerri Kenney, Stephanie Venditto, PJ Marino, Wayne Grace, Mickey Giacomazzi, Noah Munck, Bridget Shergalis, James Martin Kelly, Andrew Caldwell, Bryan Moore, Rachel Sterling, Jackie Johnson, Regino Montes, Elliott Cho Justin Grafman, Joy Darash, Jordan Green, Geraldo Rivera, Beverly Polcyn, Misha Dibono, Dori Kancher, Vernard ‘Bone’ Hampton, Hari Kondabolu, Jordan Morris

‘All About Steve’ is a subpar and often cheesy comedy about an obsessed woman who continues to pursue what she sees as the perfect man until all well-meaning viewers have desperately given up and only the masochists will sit through the film. Crossword puzzle creator Mary Horowitz (Sandra Bullock) lives with her parents, though she swears it’s temporary, and hasn’t had a boyfriend in years. She lives her life on a pair of ridiculous red leather boots and lacks love in her life, until her parents (Beth Grant and Howard Hesseman) send her on a blind date with Steve (Bradley Cooper), the cameraman for self-centered reporter Hartman Hughes (Thomas Hayden Church). At first Steve seems charmed by her direct approach (she already jumps him in the car in front of her parents’ house), but when they are interrupted almost immediately, because Steve has to go to a job, she starts stalking him.

It could have been a nice movie, but ‘All About Steve’ certainly didn’t turn out. Only incidentally, the film is good for a slight departure from the corners of the mouth in a fold that could indicate an approaching smile. But those moments are rare. The devised jokes are too far-fetched, badly timed and far too often terribly predictable and bland. Worse still, while even a bland or corny movie can have its charm, the movie drops at times—and far too often—to a level so dubious that it’s almost painful to watch at times. The film is sort of a collection of skits, as Mary travels after Steve, who has to film the most diverse and bizarre news stories: from a baby with a third leg, a hostage situation in a Wild West town, to the moral low point: a bunch of deaf children. who get stuck in a mine shaft. Of course Mary falls into this mine in her enthusiasm, just as all the children seem to have been saved. Why are the makers doing this to themselves and especially to the viewers? Do they really think Mary’s antics really bring a smile? Her non-stop chatter, laced with typical puzzle words, not only irritates the people around her, but also gets on the viewer’s nerves. When Hayden Church is also added, with his oh-so-standard and trite trick of the arrogant, empty-headed jellyfish, the measure is soon full. And then the movie is only half an hour on. Not exactly Bullocks’ most refined and best choice for a lead role, on the contrary – and to think that she also produced ‘All About Steve’. And so she adds yet another deeply disappointing film to her already unbalanced oeuvre. She alternates between reasonable and good (leading) roles, with films that barely exceed the B predicate and do so mainly because of her name. It made film critic Roger Ebert sigh that if Bullock chooses her roles herself, she’d better take an impresario, and if she has an impresario, she’d better pick her own. Of course, that statement has now been somewhat belied, because Bullock played a masterly and award-winning leading role in ‘The Blind Side’ in the same year.

The film’s title is a pun on the Oscar-winning 1950 classic “All About Eve” starring Bette Davis (and Marilyn Monroe). ‘All About Steve’ did not win an Oscar in the slightest, although the film did win prizes. The makers will have had little pleasure, because the “awards” were two so-called Razzies: for worst duo (Bullock and Cooper) and for worst actress. Bullock was sporty enough to pick up the award in person. And if that wasn’t special, the next day something unique happened: she won an Oscar for her role in the aforementioned drama ‘The Blind Side’. It’s really a shame that an actress with so much talent can give away two acting work that differs in quality in one year. And that she does have a sense of humor, she proved by the way when accepting the “Razzie”. In addition to a funny speech, she also handed out the DVD of ‘All about Steve’, with the request to watch the film (one more time). If the public decided she wasn’t the worst actress of 2009, she would come back the following year, return the award and give everyone a round. A little more of that spirit would have served her well in the film itself.