Poison Ivy: The Secret Society (2008)

Directed by: Jason Hreno | 91 minutes | drama, fantasy, thriller | Actors: Miriam McDonald, Shawna Waldron, Ryan Kennedy, Crystal Lowe, Andrea Whitburn, Greg Evigan, Catherine Hicks, Brendan Penny, Agam Darshi, Shaina Tianne Unger, Bridie Lunde, Michaela Mann, Blake Mawson, Janet Bailey, Lindsay Maxwell

Suppose you are an innocent peasant girl. You want to save yourself for your future husband, but as a new student you are in trouble with the first kid who buys you a suitcase set. If he then dumps you, you will be unpleasantly surprised. You also don’t see that those Ivies are actually a bunch of psychopaths. Okay, your roommate may have told you that your predecessor paid for her membership with death, but how dangerous can such a secret society be? If the Ivies are suddenly remarkably nice to you, let yourself be recruited without hesitation. After all, the advantages are countless: they handle your banking affairs for you and you also receive a nice pimped mobile phone as a gift.

Daisy is a rare naive freshman. Not that that matters. What does matter is that she’s young and blond, and she’s remarkably undressed for a prudish girl. Just like her Ivy friends, by the way. If tame simulated sex to synthesizer sounds is your thing, ‘Poison Ivy IV: The Secret Society’ has you covered. If not, there’s no reason to waste 91 minutes of your life on this nonsense. ‘Poison Ivy I’ and ‘II’ weren’t cinematic masterpieces either, but these films were somewhat saved by the presence of Drew Barrymore and Alyssa Milano, actresses who were in their rebellious phase at the time and wanted to prove that they could play the child roles. had outgrown. ‘Poison Ivy IV’ has to do with Miriam McDonald and Shawna Waldron. Who? Right, there you have it. There is not much to say about these ladies, except that they apparently needed money.

‘Poison Ivy IV’ is flawed on all counts. The dialogues are ridiculous, the acting is poor and the plot can be predicted from start to finish. That’s why you start paying attention to other things. The layout of the student rooms. The badly turned out breast augmentation of one of the supporting actresses. The countless improbabilities in the story. A mobile that still functions perfectly after a splash in a swimming pool? A secret society that everyone seems to know exists? You also notice that you cannot take characters called Azalea seriously. Poor Shawna Waldron must have hated it too: “You’re not serious, that’s my name??” But then again, the writers apparently thought it was a good idea, just as New Line Home Entertainment thought it was a good idea to make a fourth Poison Ivy movie. Time to prune this loan shark back.