Amsterdam Heavy (2011)

Directed by: Michael Wright | 90 minutes | action | Actors: Michael Madsen, Alison Carroll, Maryam Tarami, Dorien Rose Duinker, Semmy Schilt, Galyna Kyyashko, Alistair Overeem, Rik Sinkeldam, Amy Huckabay, Horace Cohen, Fajah Lourens, Vincent van Ommen, Mimoun Ouled Radi, Jörgen Raymann, Chloé Henry, Megan Elizabeth Gaber, Erwin Bozzolini, Henri Falconi, Lucy Clements, Richard de Maaré, Jeroen Post, Ron de Groen

I’m not just a stripper. I’m a stripper with guns.’ This quote from the do-it-yourself action movie ‘Amsterdam Heavy’ covers the film best. Acting, screenplay and direction are not very good, but almost all scenes seem to have been written purely to achieve an orgy of violence, where topless strippers appear from all sides. It is the formula of many films, and ‘Amsterdam Heavy’ cannot really distance itself from its large competitor group. The revenge story is too simple for that, the characters are too flat and there are too few spectacular fights.

The cast of the film is full of K1 fighters and Dutch celebrities. This mix does not go well together. We recognize Jeroen Post from his time as a TMF vj, and Jörgen Raymann is a very big miscast in a fortunately small role as a disturbed doctor. Lead actor Rik Sinkeldam lacks the charisma to carry the entire film, which, for example, Michael Madsen manages to bring in a small supporting role, although the acting level of the entire cast is disappointing. The Dutch actors and actresses speak English with a painfully poor Dutch accent, which makes the whole film never believable.

Revenge films such as ‘Crank’ and ‘The Chaser’ have shown that a small storyline can achieve a lot, as long as the film does not take itself too seriously and the actors play their roles with a big wink. In ‘Amsterdam Heavy’ this has become almost crazy, and lacks the ingredients that made the aforementioned films so successful. Where are the car chases? The grimacing villain? The weird stunts? The memorable hard fights? No, as an action film ‘Amsterdam Heavy’ only occasionally shows the moments that the film should have had throughout its running time. The Blu-ray contains many extras such as a making of and interviews with various cast members (and K1 fighters), but as a film it falls short.