Lake Placid 3 (2010)

Directed by: GE Furst | 93 minutes | action, horror, thriller | Actors: Colin Ferguson, Yancy Butler, Kirsty Mitchell, Kacey Barnfield, Jordan Grehs, Michael Ironside, Mark Evans, Nils Hognestad, Bianca Ilich, Angelica Penn, Brian Landon, Atanas Srebrev, Donald Anderson, Roxanne Pallett, James Marchant, Velizar Binev, John Laskowski, Ivo Simeonov

A couple hitchhiking gets dropped off at a remote lake in Maine. Mrs. wants to take a naked dive, and Mr. is persuaded to join. Perhaps out of selfish motives, because if the clothes are already off, you can assume that a solid robber along the waterfront will go through in one effort. When the gentleman makes an unexpected move during the lovemaking, the lady initially expresses her approval. Until she glances down and finds the gaping mouths of a group of hungry crocodiles, who put an unexpected end to her romantic get-together. Had the young lovers been more familiar with the horror conventions, they would have known that sex rarely ends well in these kinds of movies. Before you know it, you’ll be laced with a hunting knife. Or, as in ‘Lake Placid 3′, pulled into the water by some laughably bad graphics.

The inferior quality of the CGI is the most noticeable element of the third installment in the Lake Placid series. Still, director Furst doesn’t seem ashamed of the limitations of his computer department, because instead of suggesting a lot and showing little, his monsters are frequently featured. Black Lake’s cartoon crocodiles are remarkably enterprising. They don’t even mind making house calls if their prey doesn’t spontaneously report to the water’s edge. Caribou, Russian babysitters, camping college students with hormones running up, everything is crushed between their mighty jaws. A few villagers are not about to let themselves be eaten without a fight. Among them are biologist Nathan Bickerman (Colin Ferguson), Sheriff Tony Willinger (B-movie icon Michael Ironside) and hunting guide Reba (a wonderfully tough Yancy Butler).

Had the actors been able to see their cold-blooded opponents during the filming, they would have known that so much computer-generated nonsense can’t be acted on. The fact that the cast plunged into their roles as if their lives depended on it suggests that the makers of “Lake Placid 3” felt they were making a thrilling horror film. Had they instead embraced their pulp status and injected a little more humor into the already ridiculous story, the end result would undoubtedly have been quite satisfying. Unfortunately, ‘Lake Placid 3′ is just a bit too boring and serious to qualify for the ‘so-wrong-it’s-gets-right again’ designation. What remains are eaten carcasses, large amounts of fake blood and the occasional bare chest. Perhaps enough to satisfy the crocodiles’ hunger, but the true cult fan expects more.