Good Neighbors (2018)

Directed by: Stella van Voorst van Beest | 82 minutes | documentary

In the winter of their lives, widow Tilly (85) and widower Jan (81) are devoted to their “own business”; read a newspaper at home, do a puzzle, listen to music and have deep conversations with their companions, dogs Skippy and Sandy. Both clocks are ticking literally nowhere like at home. Til and Jan have never met each other, are not married to each other, but their lives have – besides the love for their dogs – another similarity: loneliness.

In ‘Good Neighbours’ we follow two brave Rotterdam volunteers: Wilma, 70 and her neighbor Ada, 59. Together, on behalf of the municipality, the ladies visit single elderly people living on their own to find out about their living situation, social agenda, needs. , wishes and obstacles. Often the trend is the same: “I’m fine, I don’t need any help. I see and speak to everyone every day.”
77% of the over-75s think they are not lonely. Unfortunately, that is often a diversion to avoid the hallway to a care home, afraid of losing their independence.

Til declares wholeheartedly to Wilma and Ada that she regularly sees and speaks to her family, friends and neighbors, but in reality she only dances through the living room with dog Sandy for company. “Don’t be lonely, are you crazy!” However, she has not seen her children and family for decades and who will attend her funeral is a mystery to her. As if Sandy were her child, the “wife” tells him about her day and promises her dog that she will be home around half past eleven after her birthday party at the local flower parade. The surly Shih Tzu looks indifferently with his beady eyes at his owner.

Jan, a lover of accordion music and in need of help, also denies that he is lonely and does not want help from organizations such as the National Elderly Fund. After all, he already receives visitors every day, albeit from Home Care to help him with sanitary tasks. Interesting detail: unlike Tilly, he has hardly been outside alone for seven years. After promising Ada to visit the soos for a pleasant afternoon where Skippy is allowed to join in exceptional circumstances, his decision turns into fear of the unknown.

For filmmaker Stella van Voorst van Beest (‘It will be nothing’ and ‘Prisoners of the ground’), this social theme was one of the starting points for filming the documentary ‘Good Neighbours’. Fundamental to her project was the national commotion surrounding the Rotterdam Bep de Bruin in 2013. She was only found at home ten years after her death. No one had missed her. This underlines the problem that the elderly prefer the life of a hermit to accepting communal help to combat their loneliness.

An action committee has been set up from the municipality. As dusty as that sounds, the theme meeting is so inefficient. Wilma and Ada think so too. A young team leader is neatly finishing his speech and gets bogged down in impersonal managerial language such as “to identify and refer loneliness a bit in time”. Ada listens to the speech disapprovingly. “He doesn’t come behind that front door, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” The ladies resolutely decide to continue to sail their own course, which stems from a good heart. Quite a challenge, because as a volunteer try to discuss loneliness among the elderly without being an annoying busybody and yet offer the care and attention that is so welcome. With the winged statement: “We are all good people, you just have to meet them.” the persistent sweethearts Ada and Wilma know what to do.