Artifacts – Artifacts (2007)

Directed by: Giles Daoust, Emmanuel Jespers | 75 minutes | horror, thriller, science fiction | Actors: Cécile Boland, Max Digby, Jason Morell, Felix Scott, Mary Stockley, Martin Swabey, Veronique van de Ven, Peter Warnock

Just to get straight to the point: ‘Artefacts’ is bad. Not bad as in ‘secretly nice anyway’ or ‘so bad that it gets good again’, but bad as in ‘don’t make a movie then’. What exactly is so bad about it? The less charismatic actors. The chaotic camera work. The ugly lighting and the faded colors. The cheap special effects. The silly action scenes. The tricks of the plot. Example: Kate is summoned to the police station after her friend is murdered. Quite coincidentally, she is in the elevator with detectives who are discussing the case among themselves. In detail, as you would as a police officer in an elevator full of strangers. Such an explanation is useful; then you as a viewer at least stay on track if the attention threatens to slacken. ‘Artefacts’ doesn’t want to be exciting, no matter how fast the main characters run away from copies of themselves.

And then the denouement. In terms of ridiculousness, it rivals the denouement of ‘The Happening’ and that is quite an achievement. Directors Giles Daoust and Emmanuel Jespers add so much to the melodrama that the film collapses under its own weight and the logic is also hard to find. What is really good about the movie? The film music. It is spacey, atmospheric and surprisingly effective. The first fifteen minutes you fall for it, then you realize that the synthesizers are spacey and atmospheric while nothing is actually happening on the screen. Drinking coffee does not deserve a musical climax. And sometimes it’s better to leave the evoking emotion to the actors rather than the composer. On the other hand, those swelling sounds keep you awake. It might be an idea to put the soundtrack of ‘Artefacts’ on a dark ambient CD and just throw the film away. In this way, this mistake still yields something beautiful.