American High School (2009)

Directed by: Sean Patrick Cannon | 90 minutes | comedy | Actors: Talan Torriero, Jillian Murray, Aubrey O’Day, Nikki Schieler Ziering, Brian Drolet, Hoyt Richards, Pat Jankiewicz, James E. Foley, Alex Murrel, Davida Williams, Maxie J. Santillan Jr., Kyle Sabihy, Madison Dylan, Scotty Kyle, Kelli Nordhus, Deborah Lelah, Leandro Maeder, Cameron Goodman, Miriam Lelah, Ashley Ann Cook, Ashley Morey, Elwood Carlisle, Trini López, Martin Klebba

There seems to be no end to the series of sex comedies with the word ‘American’ in the title. After films such as ‘American Pie’ (1998), ‘American Wedding’ (2003) and ‘American Reunion’ (2012) and a whole series of – mostly straight to DVD – films from the same series, there is ‘American High School’ ( 2009). While the first two ‘American Pie’ films in particular still appealed to quite a few people, director Sean Patrick Cannon’s feature debut is neither sexy nor funny. “American High School” is just wrong. The central character in this shambles is Gwen (Jillian Murray), who inexplicably is the least popular girl in the school. For also inexplicable reasons, she is already married at the age of seventeen to the popular Holden (Talan Torriero), who gets a kick out of having sex with her in public places. When the whole school is in the auditorium to discuss the upcoming prom gala, they sneak into the headmaster’s office to have a hard time on his desk.

But in their unbridled passion, they accidentally turn on the loudspeaker so that everyone can enjoy it. From that moment on, Gwen goes through life as the ‘whore of the school’ – quite remarkable considering she had sex with her own husband. The school principal (Martin Klebba) supports her, but he is kicked out of office by a savage parent council who (rightly) blames him for hooking up with his students. Things get even worse for Gwen when she finds out she might be pregnant. However, instead of talking to Holden, she drives him into the arms of her rival, the popular but insufferable Hilary (Aubrey O’Day). She has little support from her father (Hoyt Richards). He’s a former TV star who—once again for inexplicable reasons—hangs out at school, chatting to his daughter’s classmates in bed. But he also likes the busty art teacher (Nikki Ziering), who is already married to another teacher. Gwen comes up with a plan to win Holden back, put Hilary on her numbers, get the principal back his job, and lecture her father.

‘American High School’ treads the well-known paths of the teenage sex comedy: all clichés are passed. But all those involved are showing a sadly low level. Anyone who watches this film to laugh will be disappointed. The humor is quite suggestive and really only revolves around one aspect: the fact that the adults at this high school ‘do it’ with the students. And that’s not funny, that’s just gross. Even if you’re open-minded, seeing a school nurse trying to abuse a desperate student will leave you scratching your head. Anyone who expects to see a lot of nudes will also come home from a cold fair: except for a few bare breasts of the art teacher (who pulls down her already shabby outfit in a laughably vulgar scene to inspire her students…) there is little meat. to see. The worst of all is not even the aimlessness, but the total disarray that radiates from ‘American High School’. There is no real plot and the dialogues just stagnate things even more. It also seems that the editor has been sleeping. In short: there is no string to tie…

The only positive thing about ‘American High School’ is the camera work, which looks clear and sharp. Everything else is really not worth your time, money and attention. To skip!