xXx: Return of Xander Cage (2017)

Directed by: DJ Caruso | 107 minutes | action, adventure, thriller | Actors: Vin Diesel, Donnie Yen, Deepika Padukone, Kris Wu, Ruby Rose, Tony Jaa, Nina Dobrev, Rory McCann, Toni Collette, Samuel L. Jackson, Ice Cube, Hermione Corfield, Tony Gonzalez, Michael Bisping, Al Sapienza, Nigel Bennett, Terry Chen, Daniel Kash

In 2002, there was seemingly a hunger for a hipper, more modern James Bond. The movie ‘xXx’ was made in response to the cool super spy. The action and image of a suave womanizer remained, but the gadgets and fancy cars were replaced by an ugly fur coat and a love for extreme sports. It should be the big new franchise for actor Vin Diesel, who previously scored high in films like ‘Pitch Black’ and ‘The Fast and the Furious’. The first ‘xXx’ didn’t really impress but a sequel (without Vin Diesel) and fifteen years later Xander Cage finally decides to return. And just like fifteen years ago, nobody is really happy about that.

Vin Diesel is thus Xander Cage’s titular character in ‘xXx: Return of Xander Cage’; full time adrenaline junkie, part time savior of the world. When unhinged xXx agent Xiang (Donnie Yen) and a team of extreme martial arts practitioners steal a super weapon, it’s time for Xander to clock in at his part-time job. It’s a wafer-thin plot for a movie full of ridiculous stunts that are physically impossible. Now the antics in action films do not always have to look realistic, but this film does take a lot of liberties (think Indiana Jones surviving a nuclear explosion).

Of course there are more factors that contribute to the plot, but these are so generic and undeveloped that they barely leave an impact. To eliminate the team of terrorists (including Tony Jaa and Deepika Padukone), Xander decides to set up a similar team (including Ruby Rose and Rory McCann). The characters are often identified only by their origin or specialty. For example, Ruby Rose is good with snipers and Tony Jaa is a very hyperactive Thai fighter. But nothing is really relevant, they are just part of the action sequences that are supposed to make the film what it is.

And even those aren’t always as good. They are certainly entertaining, and at times laughable, but they don’t really impress. This is partly due to the way the character Xander Cage is written. He never shows any fear or doubt about his situation and that makes it damn difficult to fear the fate of a character who constantly manages to wriggle out of impossibly difficult situations. But in the end Xander doesn’t really care what happens, he survives anyway. The biggest bright spot in these scenes is Donnie Yen, of whom it is now generally known that he can show a lot of cool fighting skills.

Other than that, it’s all cliché to the point that it gets annoying. ‘xXx: Return of Xander Cage’ even tries to be very cheeky about it and wants to appear charming by means of introduction cards that the characters have to explain in two seconds. References to better films in the genre that do much better (‘The Avengers’) and the breaking of the fourth wall are painfully present and make it seem as if the makers here are trying too hard to make their film hip.

‘xXx: The Return of Xander Cage’ is above all a very stupid film, one where the viewer can laugh at how nonsensical the action is. It makes the print a very solid guilty pleasure, one that you can be entertained with with a large pot of beer and a whole lot of good friends. As long as you put on ‘The Avengers’ or ‘Ip Man’ (also with Donnie Yen) afterwards, you also want to watch a good movie with your friends.